Cole is having a breathing "attack" that started Sunday night and I want to journal it so that we can remember it later. It has been almost a full week and he is still really bad.
This was our first time that it happened on anything other than a Saturday night/Sunday morning. At about 1am on Sunday (really Monday June 1) morning, Cole was really struggling to breath. This is him laying in bed. You can't really see him, but you can hear him. It is really a struggle to get air in and out, and there are lots of coughing attacks along with it.
We take him in to sleep with us whenever this happens. I have two dear friends, both strong, healthy 30ish year olds, who passed away this past year in the night because of breathing issues just like this. It literally terrifies me. These two friends (Kelly Knight and Zachary Cox) were healthy, active, grown men, but their asthma actually killed them. I am not ready for my Cole to go so soon. He is our joy and light in our lives.
Here he is in Daddy's arms. This is after the breathing treatments.
We take him outside to breath the night air, and it seems to help, although very little.
He stayed home from school Monday, and I held him all day in bed. He was so weak that he couldn't even talk to me. He just whimpers and points.
Tuesday he begged to go to school, and he seemed a little better so we sent him to school Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday he was miserable again, with fevers, so I kept him home. Today, Friday, he seems to not be any better. I talked to his pulminologist and they say I should take him in to the Emergency Room tomorrow morning if he is not better. I always hate that because they love to admit him at the hospitals... and then we end up spending the week... or month. :)
He sweats when he sleeps and wakes up in the mornings and from naps drenched. I have to change him and his sheets. Sometimes I even have to lay his pillow out to dry.
He gets fevers on and off. It seems to be helped by the baby tylonal.
We are giving him Prednisolone 15mg/5, 4ml 2 x a day. I started this yesterday.
He also does breathing treatments for about half an hour, every four hours. Albuterol and Pulmacourt. I am so lucky to have a nebulizer at home! This is the same machine they use at the hospital, and it makes it so much easier not to have to go to the hospital as often when we can just do it at home.
I don't mean to sound dramatic, but sometimes I feel like I could just start bawling. It gets hard to "hold it together" when your baby is sick. My heart aches for those moms of children who are really sick. It makes me realize how amazingly lucky we are that Cole is so healthy and strong. I think Heavenly Father just knows that I couldn't deal with it being too hard. I remember when we had only had Cole about 3 months, so he was about 7 1/2 months old. He was really sick, and had his full time oxygen, heart monitors, and wouldn't eat anything... I remember sobbing in my office one day, and just begging Father in Heaven, "Please, I am not this strong! I can't handle this. I know you might think I can, but I can't!!" I thought about the promise given to us that we would not be tried or tested more than we could handle. That promise has really gotten me through some dark times. I always know that I can do it, and that I just need to hold on.
I know we will be fine. There are things I am really thankful for.
**Girl's Night Out where I can escape for a few hours and relax. (My Claim Jumper Artichoke and Calizone were sooo good!)
**Backyardingan's DVD... Thanks Auntie Sue!!!
**Doctors and Medications!
**Target's "amazing, why didn't someone think of this before" medication dispensing system. It has truly made me a Target fan for life!
See, the syringe goes into the top, and no mess! Then it goes directly into Cole's tummy tube. Amazing! And since I am doing 14 medications a day this week, this little device has been a huge help! Our Pharmacist at Target even gives me extra stoppers, sot hat we can put them in our Tylonal and other over the counter meds. So great!
**Since he can't talk this week, he is signing everything. It is so precious when he comes in and taps my arm and holds his arms up to me and starts humming. It must not hurt to hum, because that is how he lets me know he is happy. He will hum for me.
**When I ask him how he is doing, he croaks, "not good". So sad, but also so cute!
This morning the school bus driver did not get the message that he was not able to go to school today, so she came by to pick him up. He wanted to go so badly, but keep in mind that he physically could not even say a word! So he stood on the front porch with tears streaming sown his cheeks, and made this little mewling noise, and opening and closed his hand. It was heart breaking! I told him that he could go next time, but he just kept crying the huge tears and mewling!
